Actively assessing yourself, how you feel, and how you interact with this other person. Slow burn for me has started off as hanging out once a week then twice a week then someone stays an extra night so that becomes the norm then all of a sudden you’re together all the time but it wasn’t an electric “meet and never leave each other, feel anxious every time you’re away” relationship.Ī slow burn is dating with intention. We can hardly even recall how we met and became good friends, it just happened over time by spending more time together and getting to know each other.
I don’t view this as associated with a slow burn. Few things besides basic decency really matter to me. It doesn’t mean we don’t connect and it doesn’t mean we aren’t basically exclusive from the get go in retrospect, it just means things move at a less intense pace. It means I’m enjoying spending time with someone and getting to know them without the feelings of anxiety that accompany more sparks-type connections. Slow burn for me means I’m not potentializing my entire future after a first or second meeting. For me slow burn is more akin to feeling safe and warm like a fireplace vs a fireworks immediate connection can’t be without that person or I’m anxious feeling.
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